FranyArt

Well im in the mood to let whats on my mind out i don't do that often, not a lot of people wanna listen to my crap but it helps to at least write it down.
Lately ive been working out getting a lot of exercise try to become more healthy, lose weight ext. tho i have had a bit of bottled up feelings, i have personal demons as everyone does, things in the closet you cant clean out that are a bit more permanent then even the paint on the wall, if that makes sense?
There are some insecurity's i have , little things that bother me when they shouldn't things i feel i may never get over but believe me when i say i wish i could, i cant stand it eating away at me in some situations.
the worst thing that happens to me when im upset is this "bad" feeling the feeling some people get when they have a sense that something isn't right, just mine kinda twists up in my stomach leaving me nauseous and worried as hell as to what will happen next, its a pain in the ass.
a lot of the stupid insecurity's i have is caused from my past, old experiences that still haunt me even today, the thing is i don't no how to change that, i don't no how to change myself from feeling the way i do when things come up or if something i don't like happens.
the moral of this i guess is i hope that someday soon i can wake up and see what i truly want, start doing things properly and stop dwelling on the pain of my past that haunts me to this day with the present, the trouble is i need to find a way to start getting better and stop pulling the ones i love down with me when im feeling shitty.
perhaps realize what is best for me rather than others, take chances, give things a try i wouldn't normally, like getting off warcraft and getting more fresh air haha.
i need to search deep to see what i want
what i need..
what will help me..
and those i care about....
i need to finally get rid of the pain and be the happy me i once was..
i just feel like sometimes i need a hand..
someone to help me out of this maze..
cuz right now its to hard to figure out on my own...

Well i donno what is going on with me, i get my vitamin C and Vitamin D, i've been drinking V8 Fusion and getting rather good exersice i havnt been in public places where theres a hole lot of people mostly just out in the fresh air, i've been taking better care of myself a lot better than i use to but in the past 2months ive gotten sick 3 times it is really weird and i don't no what to think of it? it might not be anything to worry about. i just hate thos nights of tossing and turning with my throat hurting like im swallowing rocks its hard to speak and i hate the next step of coughing all night @@!! well i just hope this will be the last time im ill for a looooong time lol.

Days before to day have seemed to be very wonderful I have been in bliss and pure happiness, none of that is ruined but my feelings are depressed because of this morning... I no this may seem silly to a lot of people but I am left with sadness after my Dear Bird Named Baby had died. I don't think its silly because pets are just as important and a part of the family to me she was a very sweet bird and beautiful too, I think she was 8-9 years old. She was a Cockatiel and she was fluffy and Yellow with rosy red Cheeks she would greet you every morning she was so cute because she would call for me when I would go to my room hehe she was a sweety and I miss her very much. I was with her tho for her remaining minutes I held her in my hands when she had her last breath and I cried for her.. I am a little more sad because of thoughts I had after, like Birds are very Different from Cats and Dogs you can show your affection more to them and they understand better I felt sad that she may not have known I was there for her like a dog would have I dunno I guess sad thoughts are just part of feeling sad I'm just glad that I was there with her and she wasn't alone.. I no it has been a while since I've done anything on DeviantArt but I felt that DeviantArt deserved this journal more than Facebook or Myspace, DeviantArt is more like home to me, tho I wish I didn't have to have my first entry in a long time be about my poor Bird... I guess that's it for now..

Happy Canadian Thanks Giving all ^^ for thos who are celebrating thanks giving enjoy ur warm yummy yummy dinner <D

Well i have been havin a lot of inspiration lately xO! tho i am a lil stumped as to what to darw xS buuuuuuuuut i have been attempting to teach myself how to use PhotoShop CS 4 cuz i wanna be able to color like REALLLLY good lol hehe! i hope to be as good at coloring my art as shawli hehe^^ shes so cool >o<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!